At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
