you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got inside last night via doggy door
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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