how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
