Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
