Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
