I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
