So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
