I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
