Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
