Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize