I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
