Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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