so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
