Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
