he told me I talked like a deaf person
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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