i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
