My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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