the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
