At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
