I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
