Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
