you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
