We won't sleep together?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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