btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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