Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
