bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My ass is underappreciated
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
