So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize