come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
