Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
