let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
