I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no you cant smoke seaweed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize