If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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