Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
