I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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