dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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