I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
