put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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