The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
