why didn't you poke me back
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
