normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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