I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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