That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
