$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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