Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
