dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
