doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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