THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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