Only a mothe r could love this liver
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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