dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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