i need an iv and a liver transplant
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
