Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
