You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
