Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
