My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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