Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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