I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
