Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
