She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
