I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
