i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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