ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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