I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize