I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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