HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
