I didn't shave. On purpose
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
