dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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