look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
