I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
