Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
